It started on Monday with a steroid shot- ah, sweet relief from allergy hell.
And it just got better. The weather: glorious sunshine and warm breeze. We trapsed across parks all week, exploring old haunts and discovering new ones. We dug in the dirt. We smelled new growth of sweet grass as it squished beneath our toes and the fresh wind as it traveled across our faces. Bubbles were blown. Holes were dug. Treasures were found. It was perfect.
This week really solidified to me what I thought to be true over Christmas break, but wasn't sure if it was just a fluke at the time. My kids just do better when we stay home more. And it's more than "doing better"- they thrive in each other's company, at home. This week, they have played together beautifully as well as alone. They have used all their toys. They have been happy with their imaginations. The television has been turned on very little and I haven't felt the need to referee all day. There has been this unhurried, peaceful state of play that has inhibited this house this week and IT. HAS. BEEN. AMAZING.
What's even better than the obvious peaceful state of my house this week is the sweet relationship I see unfolding in Adler and Hazel. How it warms my heart to see Adler delight in Hazel's potty training success. He has given her so much encouragement and even gave her his prized dinosaur becuase she has been going on the potty this week. He has been patient with her and let her play in his room. He told me that even though she didn't follow all his rules in his room, she could still come in to play. I watch them from the kitchen window as they play and every single time Hazel screams over a bug (which averages about every 2.3 minutes) he comes running to comfort her. And she just folds in his comfort, completely at ease once he makes it better.
And Hazel, how she embraces her role as the younger sibling. If you ask her who she is, her automatic answer is, "I'm the baby sister.". You can tell her all the other things she is, but she always insists that she is the baby sister. Period. She follows Adler everywhere. His the first thing she asks for in the morning and the last person she is talking about before sleep. And although she may be the youngest, she does her share of protecting as well. There is not a timeout that Adler sits in that Hazel is not right there beside him. She rubs his back when he is sad and sings songs to make him smile.
How blessed my children are to have each other. And how blessed I am to be a part of it!
Showing posts with label in my head. Show all posts
Showing posts with label in my head. Show all posts
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Yooohoooo
Hi! I know we haven't spoken in awhile and I know this is awkward; but I wanted to pop in and say hello and let you know that I don't only speak in the random posting of pictures. I do have actual words to say, just haven't had a blogging spirit lately. No biggie!
Kids are napping and I am procrastinating getting some housework done. The weather outside is nice and this weekend, it's supposed to be even cooler. I cant wait to spend all weekend outside with my family.
We are doing so good right now. Preschool is in full swing and both kids are loving it. We have some tears from hazel when she sees me or Adler throughout the morning, but they are quickly dissolved at the promise of the next fun thing her class is doing. Adler loves his class too- they do really fun things and he is learning so much. I am really loving teaching the 3 year old room. The kids are really good and so excited to learn and do new things. It's been a lot of fun so far and feels in no way like a job.
Let's see, what else....I am learning to sew. It's a slow process for me (I actually developed a new stitch called the frankenstitch- very innovative) and I will be happy for a day when I feel more confident when I start a project; but I have already come a long way and know that day will come.
I am also still running. I was a bit hit and miss this summer just due to a full schedule and just different priorities. There may have been a time in my life where that would have made me feel very guilty, but I am really at peace about that now. This summer, we were a little lazier in the mornings, played a little longer into the afternoon and didn't get around to bedtime until later. And it was WONDERFUL. But now we are back into routine again, I am settling into a normal exercise schedule again and it also feels wonderful. I just guess
there is a season for everything.
Kids are napping and I am procrastinating getting some housework done. The weather outside is nice and this weekend, it's supposed to be even cooler. I cant wait to spend all weekend outside with my family.
We are doing so good right now. Preschool is in full swing and both kids are loving it. We have some tears from hazel when she sees me or Adler throughout the morning, but they are quickly dissolved at the promise of the next fun thing her class is doing. Adler loves his class too- they do really fun things and he is learning so much. I am really loving teaching the 3 year old room. The kids are really good and so excited to learn and do new things. It's been a lot of fun so far and feels in no way like a job.
Let's see, what else....I am learning to sew. It's a slow process for me (I actually developed a new stitch called the frankenstitch- very innovative) and I will be happy for a day when I feel more confident when I start a project; but I have already come a long way and know that day will come.
I am also still running. I was a bit hit and miss this summer just due to a full schedule and just different priorities. There may have been a time in my life where that would have made me feel very guilty, but I am really at peace about that now. This summer, we were a little lazier in the mornings, played a little longer into the afternoon and didn't get around to bedtime until later. And it was WONDERFUL. But now we are back into routine again, I am settling into a normal exercise schedule again and it also feels wonderful. I just guess
there is a season for everything.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Ten years
The past few days, I have been thinking of the anniversary. 9-11.
It is surreal to me that my children, that the children I teach at church, that most children, either were not here before that day, or will never remember America before that day.
I lived in Hattiesburg. My room-mate frantically woke me that morning, crying, telling me to watch because she couldn't tell. So we did, all day. I moved from my couch to another friend's couch and from there, we stayed glued to the television all day. I think we left the apartment once, to wait in a 2 hour line for gas because that is what people do in the wake of national tragedy, fill their tanks with gas. What else is there to do?
I can not tell you specific ways in which my life has changed as a result of 9-11. I guess, in reality, not in many ways. I still have a roof over my head, a car to drive, family to love, a life to live. I am so blessed in comparison to so many that lost real, tangible things that day, that sacrificed so much that day. But my life DID change on September 11, 2001. I can not put my finger on it, can not put it to exact words. But there is a bit of sadness that lingers from that day, attached to the person I am today. There was no transformation from child to adult, no loss of innocence that would make the day more poetic. Yet, I do think that something stirred up in me, that the stirring mixed up my world, caused me to see things differently. Within 9 months of 9-11, I got engaged and married, moved and formed this life I live and love now. Maybe the cliche is right, maybe I did lose some of that innocence, nievity. Maybe I did grow up, gain perspective. I don't know. I only know for certain that the day became a part of me.
Ten years. I haven't wanted to recognize it because for some reason, it feels a betrayal to have gone on with life for a whole decade. It is no longer something that just happened only moments, days, months, even a few years ago. Does that even make sense? It just doesn't feel right to have it a part of our history when it is still so raw. I guess that is it. Why do we need to remember it when it's still right there beside us? I think, for those of us old enough to remember, it will always feel that way.
It is surreal to me that my children, that the children I teach at church, that most children, either were not here before that day, or will never remember America before that day.
I lived in Hattiesburg. My room-mate frantically woke me that morning, crying, telling me to watch because she couldn't tell. So we did, all day. I moved from my couch to another friend's couch and from there, we stayed glued to the television all day. I think we left the apartment once, to wait in a 2 hour line for gas because that is what people do in the wake of national tragedy, fill their tanks with gas. What else is there to do?
I can not tell you specific ways in which my life has changed as a result of 9-11. I guess, in reality, not in many ways. I still have a roof over my head, a car to drive, family to love, a life to live. I am so blessed in comparison to so many that lost real, tangible things that day, that sacrificed so much that day. But my life DID change on September 11, 2001. I can not put my finger on it, can not put it to exact words. But there is a bit of sadness that lingers from that day, attached to the person I am today. There was no transformation from child to adult, no loss of innocence that would make the day more poetic. Yet, I do think that something stirred up in me, that the stirring mixed up my world, caused me to see things differently. Within 9 months of 9-11, I got engaged and married, moved and formed this life I live and love now. Maybe the cliche is right, maybe I did lose some of that innocence, nievity. Maybe I did grow up, gain perspective. I don't know. I only know for certain that the day became a part of me.
Ten years. I haven't wanted to recognize it because for some reason, it feels a betrayal to have gone on with life for a whole decade. It is no longer something that just happened only moments, days, months, even a few years ago. Does that even make sense? It just doesn't feel right to have it a part of our history when it is still so raw. I guess that is it. Why do we need to remember it when it's still right there beside us? I think, for those of us old enough to remember, it will always feel that way.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
This is how we do summer.
What can I even say about the summer of 2011? What a beautiful, glorious, lazy, busy, exciting, relaxing, perfect summer it has been. We have cleaned and organized, gone swimming, play doughed, canoed, played on playgrounds in the sticky heat, caught fire flies, ate watermelon, glued and cut, volleyballed, painted and colored, shopped and browsed, camped and s'mored....all in the name of summer. For several years now I have longed to have a summer like this but just wasn't able to swing it until now. It has been the summer of my childhood revisited and I, we, have loved every moment of it.
And its not over. Eric and I are headed to the Dominican Republic with the kids in two days. We can't wait to experience a new place and lounge on the beach for 7 days. Its going to be amazing!
And then, the day after we get back I get to go set up classroom at my new job! That's right- 3 hours a day, 3 mornings a week, I am calling Crawford Street Play School my home away from home. I am going to be assisting the 3k class and I am so excited about it! Since I am working, Z will be going during the same hours in the 2k class and Adler will be in 4k. Its going to be a fun year. Its going to be so neat to get a bird's eye view into what goes on when my kids are at school.
I have been obsessed with stopping every few days and taking deep breaths and looking around and taking mental snapshots of what is going on around me- I can't believe I get to live this beautiful life- I know how blessed I am. It is so easy to get caught up in the hum drums, the small, and sometimes the big, stresses of this world we live in. But, then I catch my husband's eye as we watch our family enjoying each other on a lazy Saturday evening; I hear my children's giggles as they trace their bodies in chalk; I feel the cold of the sprinkler as we play; I taste the sweetness of a watermelon..... Summer restores my soul and reminds me of the rich blessings in my life. How GREAT is our God!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Focused.
I am discovering something about myself. I can only do one thing at a time. When I am into something, I am a bit obsessed about it. I will think about it, read a million books and articles about it, and do whatever it is every chance I get. And when I am not doing something that has to do with it, my brain just wants to relax. So it leaves no room for the other things I enjoy doing in my life, or that I need to do in my life, like cleaning (yikes!).
And that is the reason I am TWO weeks behind on my photo project. And I feel SUPER guilty about it. But I have been running lately and have been a little preoccupied and just haven't picked up my camera quite as much the last few weeks. But I am playing catch up this week so expect a photo bomb soon.
I need to figure out how to stop being so single minded. I have several things I would love to equally spend my time on, but it just won't all fit in my brain at the same time.
And that is the reason I am TWO weeks behind on my photo project. And I feel SUPER guilty about it. But I have been running lately and have been a little preoccupied and just haven't picked up my camera quite as much the last few weeks. But I am playing catch up this week so expect a photo bomb soon.
I need to figure out how to stop being so single minded. I have several things I would love to equally spend my time on, but it just won't all fit in my brain at the same time.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
these long winter days
Oh, these days have been long. This winter has been especially tempermental. I am one of those people who needs to feel sunshine in my bones. It makes me happy. I am so thankful for the occassional warm day that we have been having every few weeks. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to live up north during the long winter months. I guess maybe that is why God made me a southern girl!
I have been trying to make the best of it. We have spent our days building big towers of blocks and painting sunny skies on paper. We are going to try homemade pretzels tomorrow. I think we have all gained 10 pounds due to our cold weather baking. And we are just trying to buckle down and enjoy the moments where we are forced to slow down. I think God is teaching me lessons on the importance of making your moments happy regardless of the circumstances. He is teaching me lessons on slowing down and enjoying just being with my little ones, without needing playdates and parks and libraries to keep us occupied. He is teaching me self sacrifice and patience; because oh how I crave nothing more than a good book and warm bed on days like this; but how my babies crave playdough and puzzle parties on days like this; and how my house seems to crave order and cleanliness after being played in, tromped in and abused from days like this.
Winter's days are numbered. And although I long for the sun; I choose to embrace the warmth that has come from these sweet lesson learned this season.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Guilty!
Has this ever happened to you?
Monday (or tuesday or friday or sunday...) morning, late again, dog bowl has mysteriously tipped over, phone is ringing, 4 year old whining because he doesn't want to wear his coat, yogurt stuck in my hair, and where are my keys anyway, 1 year old is jumping off the stairs, and why why why why can't I bring my monster truck to school, momma, whhhhhhhyyy?
You get one guess who gets in trouble for his transgressions and probably in a little more trouble than he would normally if everything else would have been going smoothly. I mean, somebody's got to feel the brunt of my frustration right, and I can't really blame it on my 1 year old baby, or my friend who is calling me, or my dog....or myself.
Ouch. This one hurts.
How easy it is to punish our children out of the situation instead of the actual action. Don't get me wrong. We do not tolerate whining in our house. It is cause for discipline. But if I am honest with myself, in a situation like that, I expect Adler to act like the grown man that he is. If he can't recognize the dire straits I am in and begin to act maturely as to ease my discomfort, there are consequences.....how utterly ridiculous does that sound?
I just finished reading, "Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches" by Rachel Jankovic and it has a whole chapter devoted to this nasty little habit. This whole book really convicted me on a lot issues that I have already been struggling with but was unsure as to how to work through. It really gave me a renewed sense of focus and direction. It also reminded me to slow down and enjoy these years; they are SO fleeting.
I could go on and on about the ways that it has changed my attitudes about motherhood and discipline, but really, what I think you should do, is pick one up yourself and get what you can from it. It is a short and entertaining but really delves into some important stuff. I plan on reading it multiple times, as I have a pretty thick head sometimes. I HIGHLY recommend it.
Monday (or tuesday or friday or sunday...) morning, late again, dog bowl has mysteriously tipped over, phone is ringing, 4 year old whining because he doesn't want to wear his coat, yogurt stuck in my hair, and where are my keys anyway, 1 year old is jumping off the stairs, and why why why why can't I bring my monster truck to school, momma, whhhhhhhyyy?
You get one guess who gets in trouble for his transgressions and probably in a little more trouble than he would normally if everything else would have been going smoothly. I mean, somebody's got to feel the brunt of my frustration right, and I can't really blame it on my 1 year old baby, or my friend who is calling me, or my dog....or myself.
Ouch. This one hurts.
How easy it is to punish our children out of the situation instead of the actual action. Don't get me wrong. We do not tolerate whining in our house. It is cause for discipline. But if I am honest with myself, in a situation like that, I expect Adler to act like the grown man that he is. If he can't recognize the dire straits I am in and begin to act maturely as to ease my discomfort, there are consequences.....how utterly ridiculous does that sound?
I just finished reading, "Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches" by Rachel Jankovic and it has a whole chapter devoted to this nasty little habit. This whole book really convicted me on a lot issues that I have already been struggling with but was unsure as to how to work through. It really gave me a renewed sense of focus and direction. It also reminded me to slow down and enjoy these years; they are SO fleeting.
I could go on and on about the ways that it has changed my attitudes about motherhood and discipline, but really, what I think you should do, is pick one up yourself and get what you can from it. It is a short and entertaining but really delves into some important stuff. I plan on reading it multiple times, as I have a pretty thick head sometimes. I HIGHLY recommend it.
Friday, January 14, 2011
What I have learned
1. 4 feet somehow make more than twice the mess as 2 feet do. This was the first time I have done floor painting since I had 4 little feet walking around. I ended up mopping the whole kitchen...and den....and bathroom twice to get up all the paint!
2. Paint flies. There was paint on our ceiling fan.
3. Its okay to dress your kids in Christmas clothes in January....or to let them stay in the pajamas all day.
4. A week locked in the house because its too cold to go anywhere gets boring. And messy. It forces you to be very creative and very patient!
5. The kids love floor painting together. Must forget mess more and smile more and love those little years more because its totally worth it!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Awesomeness
You know what? Seeing God work in a very real way, feeling it in your bones, in your heart- there is NOTHING better. no greater blessing than that in the whole world!
I praise God today! THANK YOU for the ways You are working.
My prayer for you is that you open your hearts to see the ways God is working in your life today, because He most certainly is there, doing something!
I praise God today! THANK YOU for the ways You are working.
My prayer for you is that you open your hearts to see the ways God is working in your life today, because He most certainly is there, doing something!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Five days of boring bliss!!
So I debated posting this because I don't want to cause envy and unrest amongst the people; but I will go ahead and tell you.
Tomorrow morning, Eric and I are driving down to Fl and won't be back until Monday! Eric is on a softball ministry team that has been going to prisons around MS and LA playing games and ministering to the prisoners. This weekend, they are doing 14 prisons in 3 days in Fl. Some of the player's wives are going along for the ride. We can't go with them to the prisons; so we will just be haning at the hotel, lounging by the pool, shopping and eating ang maybe going to the beach if the hurricane doesn't blow it away.
I am soooo excited. Here are some things I plan on doing.....
-reading like 38 books
-watching 14 movies
-ordering Halloween costumes
-ordering tshirts for our vacation to Disney/beach next month
-laying by the pool for at least 19 hours total, or if the weather is bad, my bed will do
-oh and the continental breakfast- yay!
Now don't get me wrong, those babies of mine will be fiercely missed. But I think we will all be happier for a break from the norm!
So thank you thank you thank you to my fantastic in-laws for suggesting i go with Eric and for your willingness to keep my children, and for all the other million and two things you do for us. We love you!
One last thing, please keep Eric and the rest of the team in your prayers. It's going to be a physically grueling couple of days for them. Pray that they will keep up their strength, that they will be safe and that they will allow themselves to be used in whatever way God asks of them. Pray that the prisoners and others they will be in contact with will have open hearts to the message.
Tomorrow morning, Eric and I are driving down to Fl and won't be back until Monday! Eric is on a softball ministry team that has been going to prisons around MS and LA playing games and ministering to the prisoners. This weekend, they are doing 14 prisons in 3 days in Fl. Some of the player's wives are going along for the ride. We can't go with them to the prisons; so we will just be haning at the hotel, lounging by the pool, shopping and eating ang maybe going to the beach if the hurricane doesn't blow it away.
I am soooo excited. Here are some things I plan on doing.....
-reading like 38 books
-watching 14 movies
-ordering Halloween costumes
-ordering tshirts for our vacation to Disney/beach next month
-laying by the pool for at least 19 hours total, or if the weather is bad, my bed will do
-oh and the continental breakfast- yay!
Now don't get me wrong, those babies of mine will be fiercely missed. But I think we will all be happier for a break from the norm!
So thank you thank you thank you to my fantastic in-laws for suggesting i go with Eric and for your willingness to keep my children, and for all the other million and two things you do for us. We love you!
One last thing, please keep Eric and the rest of the team in your prayers. It's going to be a physically grueling couple of days for them. Pray that they will keep up their strength, that they will be safe and that they will allow themselves to be used in whatever way God asks of them. Pray that the prisoners and others they will be in contact with will have open hearts to the message.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
The difference
So today I heard this, paraphrased because I can't remember it word for word- the difference between someone who is living by the Word out of religious responsibility and someone who is living it out of response to God's mercy and goodness is everything.
Wow. The past few months I have really been struggling with this. And it seems to be a reoccurring message that God is hitting me with. My pastor asked in his sermon a few weeks ago, "what are we here for?". And if that answer is anything other than to glorify and sanctify Him and fulfill His desire for our lives, we are in it for the wrong reason.
So if we think about it, that is tough stuff. How many times have I entered into church service on Sunday morning out of obligation? Or prepared for the mission group I lead because it's just what I do? How much do i play the part of a woman seeking God's will instead of actually seeking it out? How can I honestly gossip freely on Saturday or skip my daily quiet time with God more times than not and then come to church on Sunday and expect to to be filled?
Why am I bothering at all? What good is playing a part, going through the motions, half doing it? How is that bringing me closer to God? How is it even close to showing others a picture of Christ? He was IN IT. He gave it all. And He expects us to too.
It's all or nothing with Him. Why is that so hard? I mean I love Him. I really do; and i want my life to glorify Him. And I know of the blessings. I know how rich and full a life can be in Him. It seems like total surrender would be the easiest, but satan is a tempting and conniving little beast. The lure of doing just enough to get by, to be good and committed on the outside is strong. But all the good stuff, all the real blessings in our life, in our family, in our church and beyond, well that comes from being committed 100% in the heart. The outward commitment should only be a reflection of the inward commitment we have to Christ- that is what causes revolutions. And that is what its really all for.
Wow. The past few months I have really been struggling with this. And it seems to be a reoccurring message that God is hitting me with. My pastor asked in his sermon a few weeks ago, "what are we here for?". And if that answer is anything other than to glorify and sanctify Him and fulfill His desire for our lives, we are in it for the wrong reason.
So if we think about it, that is tough stuff. How many times have I entered into church service on Sunday morning out of obligation? Or prepared for the mission group I lead because it's just what I do? How much do i play the part of a woman seeking God's will instead of actually seeking it out? How can I honestly gossip freely on Saturday or skip my daily quiet time with God more times than not and then come to church on Sunday and expect to to be filled?
Why am I bothering at all? What good is playing a part, going through the motions, half doing it? How is that bringing me closer to God? How is it even close to showing others a picture of Christ? He was IN IT. He gave it all. And He expects us to too.
It's all or nothing with Him. Why is that so hard? I mean I love Him. I really do; and i want my life to glorify Him. And I know of the blessings. I know how rich and full a life can be in Him. It seems like total surrender would be the easiest, but satan is a tempting and conniving little beast. The lure of doing just enough to get by, to be good and committed on the outside is strong. But all the good stuff, all the real blessings in our life, in our family, in our church and beyond, well that comes from being committed 100% in the heart. The outward commitment should only be a reflection of the inward commitment we have to Christ- that is what causes revolutions. And that is what its really all for.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Notes from the country
A weekend away was just what we needed. The kids and I traveled down to Mize, MS to visit with my grandfather and grandmother (pawpaw and nannnymae!) and had a lovely time. Everything moves at a snail pace down there, or did on that weekend we were there and it really did our bodies good. Here are some thoughts and observations I had over the weekend:
-Mize is surely the most God touched place in Mississippi. The rolling hills, lush green stuff and untouched land were breathtaking. I was taking snapshots in my mind as I traveled the little country backroads to my grandparent's house. I always thought of Vicksburg as being the most beautiful MS spot, but I was so wrong- its Mize.
- Watching a polka band on television is about as interesting as you would imagine. BUT, listening to your grandfather's commentary during the program is worth it!
- When pawpaw was a little boy, he lived near Lake Washington in MS. At one point, there was a German POW camp near the area and the government gave Pawpaw's family 8 POW's to help farm their land. Paw paw says he got to know the men pretty good and realized how much alike they really were to our own "boys". One man had lost touch with his family back in Germany and feared for their lives because they lived in a place where there was heavy fire. Pawpaw's momma wrote her other son (one of the two of Pawpaw's brothers who were overseas fighting in the war) and told him about the man and named his family and where they lived to see if he could find anything out. And HE DID! He was able to get word back that they were all okay. Doesn't that sound like something out of a movie?
-Hazel has decided she likes purses. Alot. She wouldn't go anywhere this weekend without the purse in one hand and the babydoll in the other. So cute.
-Adler got to ride in my uncle's "monster truck" (his jeep with big wheels). My uncle is in Haiti right now and will be coming home very soon- we are all so anxious to see him again. Anyway, Adler is still talking about it. Living the dream, people, living the dream.
-Mize is surely the most God touched place in Mississippi. The rolling hills, lush green stuff and untouched land were breathtaking. I was taking snapshots in my mind as I traveled the little country backroads to my grandparent's house. I always thought of Vicksburg as being the most beautiful MS spot, but I was so wrong- its Mize.
- Watching a polka band on television is about as interesting as you would imagine. BUT, listening to your grandfather's commentary during the program is worth it!
- When pawpaw was a little boy, he lived near Lake Washington in MS. At one point, there was a German POW camp near the area and the government gave Pawpaw's family 8 POW's to help farm their land. Paw paw says he got to know the men pretty good and realized how much alike they really were to our own "boys". One man had lost touch with his family back in Germany and feared for their lives because they lived in a place where there was heavy fire. Pawpaw's momma wrote her other son (one of the two of Pawpaw's brothers who were overseas fighting in the war) and told him about the man and named his family and where they lived to see if he could find anything out. And HE DID! He was able to get word back that they were all okay. Doesn't that sound like something out of a movie?
-Hazel has decided she likes purses. Alot. She wouldn't go anywhere this weekend without the purse in one hand and the babydoll in the other. So cute.
-Adler got to ride in my uncle's "monster truck" (his jeep with big wheels). My uncle is in Haiti right now and will be coming home very soon- we are all so anxious to see him again. Anyway, Adler is still talking about it. Living the dream, people, living the dream.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
that girl
I am just not her. You know, that girl. But those are the things that I want to teach MY girl. And to teach, don't I sort of need to have it together myself? How in the world is Hazel ever going to know how to
But meanwhile, while I am tolling over becoming that girl, I am going to remember that there are other things that I already am that I want to teach my children. I am that avid reader girl who makes weekly trips to the library. I am that girl who loves to be outside with her kids and would spend sun up to sun down (during the spring and fall) at the park with them. I am that girl who doesn't mind getting glue and paint and glitter all over the floor and herself in the name of an art project (even if its not particulary crafty!). Its so easy to think of the things we are not. I am going to remember those things I am when I start to compare myself to that image of the person I think I should be.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I heart my town.
I was downtown the other day with the kids while people were beginning to prepare the downtown for Riverfest. It occurred to me just how much I loved living in this small town. When I was a teenager, I always said I was going to go away for school and live in some exotic place, or at least a city that had a decent mall. And I did go away for a little while; but when I got married, I came back. And I began to appreciate Vicksburg. I appreciate not only its own history, but the little piece of history that was created from my own life. I love that I can remember playing in Astro park (or where it used to be), that I go to the church I was baptized in as a child, that I can drive by where I used to live.
And all those things I didn't like about Vicksburg: no good places to buy clothes, no chain restaurants; well, I count that as a blessing now for several reasons. We either live in a town that A: is too small to keep chain stores here or B:has citizens who would rather promote local business. Either way, how can that be bad? A small town is a wonderful place to raise children and grow old. And local business, well, that is the heart of America, not to mention, the heart of my own family now. I am thankful people choose to shop at places like Sassafras and eat at places like Walnut Hills or perhaps use Berkley Security for their alarm needs (had to fit a plug in there!). Vicksburg's loyalty to small businesses is says something about its people: we stick together; we plug through difficult times and sustain each other; we care about our people and our future generations. And those small businesses, well they invest back into our town. They are the ones who give donations for our fundraisers, who sponsor little league teams and who help put on our parades and community functions. This is exactly the kind of town I want to live in and I am so thankful our roots are here.
And all those things I didn't like about Vicksburg: no good places to buy clothes, no chain restaurants; well, I count that as a blessing now for several reasons. We either live in a town that A: is too small to keep chain stores here or B:has citizens who would rather promote local business. Either way, how can that be bad? A small town is a wonderful place to raise children and grow old. And local business, well, that is the heart of America, not to mention, the heart of my own family now. I am thankful people choose to shop at places like Sassafras and eat at places like Walnut Hills or perhaps use Berkley Security for their alarm needs (had to fit a plug in there!). Vicksburg's loyalty to small businesses is says something about its people: we stick together; we plug through difficult times and sustain each other; we care about our people and our future generations. And those small businesses, well they invest back into our town. They are the ones who give donations for our fundraisers, who sponsor little league teams and who help put on our parades and community functions. This is exactly the kind of town I want to live in and I am so thankful our roots are here.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Big comfort from little hands
My grandmother passed away peacefully yesterday, surrounded by her children and other family that loved her. She will be missed greatly, but we rejoice with her as she reunites with her son, her brothers and sister, her parents, and many others that have gone before her.
I was not at the hospital when she died, so I got a phone call. As I hung up the phone, I began to cry. Adler looked up from what he was doing and came and hugged me and rubbed on my hair, telling me that it was alright. He asked me what was wrong so I told him that Nanny had gone to Heaven and that I was crying because I was going to miss her. He looked at me and told me that it was okay because we were going to go there and see her soon.
Of course, in his mind, Heaven is like this big playground we can come and go as we please, so he doesn't quite understand what he was saying. But HOW TRUE! What hope we have as Christians that we will see our loved ones again. Though we may grieve and mourn our tremendous loss, we can rejoice that our loss is only temporary. I can't imagine how people who don't believe that deal with tragedy or loss. Thank God I believe!
I was not at the hospital when she died, so I got a phone call. As I hung up the phone, I began to cry. Adler looked up from what he was doing and came and hugged me and rubbed on my hair, telling me that it was alright. He asked me what was wrong so I told him that Nanny had gone to Heaven and that I was crying because I was going to miss her. He looked at me and told me that it was okay because we were going to go there and see her soon.
Of course, in his mind, Heaven is like this big playground we can come and go as we please, so he doesn't quite understand what he was saying. But HOW TRUE! What hope we have as Christians that we will see our loved ones again. Though we may grieve and mourn our tremendous loss, we can rejoice that our loss is only temporary. I can't imagine how people who don't believe that deal with tragedy or loss. Thank God I believe!
But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14
Friday, March 5, 2010
The mind is on babies
I mean, newborn babies. Don't tell E! My sister had her baby two months ago; several facebook friends had or are having in the coming weeks babies; my old friend Tashia had her baby this week; and then my sister in law, cousin, and several more friends are having their babies in the coming months. There is NOTHING like a brand new, just days old baby. They sleep; they cuddle; they mew; they make cute faces; and they smell like cotton candy. We have decided two is a good number for our family, but it doesn't stop that desire for another, even when I still have a baby in the crib. I am telling you, this baby thing, its addictive, especially when you your family and friends start having them. I am loving every stage my own children have gone through thus far, but there is something about that super short newborn stage that leaves me wanting more!
On other stuff, yall, I don't know what I feel about ghosts and spirits and if I believe in all that, but something really wierd has been happening around the Mason house the past few days. On several (3) different occasions I have been in Hazel's room with her playing and her baby swing has turned on all by itself. There is no one on that side of the room, and all of a sudden, the swing just starts rocking. I am sure it is just a battery malfunction, but it still seriously creeps me out. And then last night, her little crib toy, which plays songs or has this little voice that coos and laughs, turns on in the middle of the night. It makes the little silly laugh noise. I go in the room to manually turn it off, and it is already off.
Spooky. I am sure its nothing, but it is wierding me out enough to pray over it as I am getting her to sleep. Long before we had kids, my friend was over and was sleeping the spare room (which is now Adler's room) and said she got some wierd vibes and sensations while she was trying to sleep. I slept in the room to see for myself and never felt anything wierd though. Every once in a while, we smell cigarette smoke pretty strongly in the house, but I guess that could just be from old insulation.
I am sure its nothing, but I don't like it!
Okay, happy thoughts. Let's move on to the happiness project, day 5- Happiness is rocking Hazel to sleep: feeling the weight of her on my chest, her warm cheek against mine; and her little chubby hand resting on my neck.
On other stuff, yall, I don't know what I feel about ghosts and spirits and if I believe in all that, but something really wierd has been happening around the Mason house the past few days. On several (3) different occasions I have been in Hazel's room with her playing and her baby swing has turned on all by itself. There is no one on that side of the room, and all of a sudden, the swing just starts rocking. I am sure it is just a battery malfunction, but it still seriously creeps me out. And then last night, her little crib toy, which plays songs or has this little voice that coos and laughs, turns on in the middle of the night. It makes the little silly laugh noise. I go in the room to manually turn it off, and it is already off.
Spooky. I am sure its nothing, but it is wierding me out enough to pray over it as I am getting her to sleep. Long before we had kids, my friend was over and was sleeping the spare room (which is now Adler's room) and said she got some wierd vibes and sensations while she was trying to sleep. I slept in the room to see for myself and never felt anything wierd though. Every once in a while, we smell cigarette smoke pretty strongly in the house, but I guess that could just be from old insulation.
I am sure its nothing, but I don't like it!
Okay, happy thoughts. Let's move on to the happiness project, day 5- Happiness is rocking Hazel to sleep: feeling the weight of her on my chest, her warm cheek against mine; and her little chubby hand resting on my neck.
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name"
So, this Bible. Wow! I first heard about it from my sister, read some of her's, and then did a little research before getting one myself. I am so glad I did! Every single time I have read from it to Adler, I have learned something and been moved by it. It not only tells a story, but tells the importance of that story. Some of it is above Adler's head now, but it opens up windows of opportunity for me to talk with him about things, and also opens up his little heart to the message of Christ.
The author, Sally Lloyd Jones, said this of the book:
"As a child, I thought the Bible was packed with rules you had to keep (or God wouldn’t love you) and heroes setting examples you had to follow (or God wouldn’t love you). I thought, in short, that the Bible was all about me and what I should (or shouldn’t) be doing. Until I read a Story.
It’s the Story running like a golden stream underneath all the other stories in the Bible: the story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them. Suddenly, I realized the Bible wasn’t about me and what I should be doing at all. It was about God and what he had done. And it changed everything."
So that's the premise of this children's bible. Every story, everything that happened in the Bible, and everything that has happened since then, is all about Jesus, and what He did for us. What a powerful message!
If you want to read more from Lloyd-Jones' interview, you can find it here. And to go to the actual book's website, click here.
The author, Sally Lloyd Jones, said this of the book:
"As a child, I thought the Bible was packed with rules you had to keep (or God wouldn’t love you) and heroes setting examples you had to follow (or God wouldn’t love you). I thought, in short, that the Bible was all about me and what I should (or shouldn’t) be doing. Until I read a Story.
It’s the Story running like a golden stream underneath all the other stories in the Bible: the story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them. Suddenly, I realized the Bible wasn’t about me and what I should be doing at all. It was about God and what he had done. And it changed everything."
So that's the premise of this children's bible. Every story, everything that happened in the Bible, and everything that has happened since then, is all about Jesus, and what He did for us. What a powerful message!
If you want to read more from Lloyd-Jones' interview, you can find it here. And to go to the actual book's website, click here.
Bible stories
Tonight, as I was reading to Adler before bed, from the best children's Bible I have read yet, "The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name," I learned a new lesson from the Jonah and the Whale story, even though I have heard this story a million times.
So Jonah had just jumped off the boat, and the storm stopped, and there he was, in the middle of the ocean, drowning. So God sends a huge whale to rescue him. Wait. Rescue him? I always thought that was his punishment, the whale I mean. I mean, who wants to sit in the pitchblack, slimy belly of the whale, amongst rotten fish and seaweed and whatever else is there in the belly of a whale? Surely it was his punishment for disobeying God and running from him.
But this story says this whale was sent to him to rescue him, to keep him from drowning. And He allowed that whale to keep Jonah in his belly for three days, enough time for Jonah to realize his sin and turn from it.
So what is the significance in the idea of the role of the whale from punishment to salvation really mean? Well, a lot really! God does things big, and He does them in unconventional ways. There are not too many people who, if drowning in the middle of the ocean, would see a whale and think, "Glory Be, this whale is going to rescue me!" And if swallowed by this whale, one would certainly not thing the outcome to be good! But sometimes, in our pain, when we think that nothing good can come from our situation, God is rescuing us in ways we do not see. In fact, the pain may be part of our rescue. And sometimes, when we are in the depths of despair, in our darkest hours, the wisdom that can come only from being broken, is what can change our lives, change our course, and make us more of what God intends us to be.
My pastor said last Sunday, "God is BIG." He is! He does things BIG; He shows His mercy in BIG ways (as in whale size!) He changes our lives in BIG ways.
PS- I am going to post one more quick little blog post about this bible mentioned, because it needs its own post!
So Jonah had just jumped off the boat, and the storm stopped, and there he was, in the middle of the ocean, drowning. So God sends a huge whale to rescue him. Wait. Rescue him? I always thought that was his punishment, the whale I mean. I mean, who wants to sit in the pitchblack, slimy belly of the whale, amongst rotten fish and seaweed and whatever else is there in the belly of a whale? Surely it was his punishment for disobeying God and running from him.
But this story says this whale was sent to him to rescue him, to keep him from drowning. And He allowed that whale to keep Jonah in his belly for three days, enough time for Jonah to realize his sin and turn from it.
So what is the significance in the idea of the role of the whale from punishment to salvation really mean? Well, a lot really! God does things big, and He does them in unconventional ways. There are not too many people who, if drowning in the middle of the ocean, would see a whale and think, "Glory Be, this whale is going to rescue me!" And if swallowed by this whale, one would certainly not thing the outcome to be good! But sometimes, in our pain, when we think that nothing good can come from our situation, God is rescuing us in ways we do not see. In fact, the pain may be part of our rescue. And sometimes, when we are in the depths of despair, in our darkest hours, the wisdom that can come only from being broken, is what can change our lives, change our course, and make us more of what God intends us to be.
My pastor said last Sunday, "God is BIG." He is! He does things BIG; He shows His mercy in BIG ways (as in whale size!) He changes our lives in BIG ways.
PS- I am going to post one more quick little blog post about this bible mentioned, because it needs its own post!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
I said that?
With the much of the rest of the world, I have made yet another resolution this year to be more organized and to get rid of the gobs of unneeded stuff in my house.
So, go me, because last night, I organizing my books by genre and got rid of the books that I haven't formed deep attachments. That is, I started to do this, until I found some old journals, circa 1996-2001. So, I abandoned my cleaning for a little trip down memory lane. Chances are if you were a good friend, boyfriend or family member during this time period, I read about you last night!
Most of the entries were from 1999- 10 years ago. I really can't believe how clueless and dramatic I was just 10 years ago; and it is utterly shocking how much I have changed in such a short number of years. Its embarrassing, really. I wonder if my 40 year old self will be saying the same thing when I read my blog entries from now. Will I always cringe a little bit when I look back at myideas and thoughts on things from my not so distant past? Will I ever just reach a point of "getting it"?
I guess I don't ever want to finally reach a point where I can look back even a few years ago and say to myself that nothing has changed, that my views or ideas on things have not changed one bit. I would think that that may just signify the end of growth and of having an open mind to the things that are here to learn. But I really don't want to look back in 10 years and think that I had it ALL wrong and feel ridiculous for my 30 year old self as I do now about my 20 year old self. I don't know how I even tolerated myself back then. I feel that I sort of get what it means to live on the Earth, as a woman, Christian, wife, mother, and all those other things that I am. I am pretty sure I thought I "got it" back then too :).
So, go me, because last night, I organizing my books by genre and got rid of the books that I haven't formed deep attachments. That is, I started to do this, until I found some old journals, circa 1996-2001. So, I abandoned my cleaning for a little trip down memory lane. Chances are if you were a good friend, boyfriend or family member during this time period, I read about you last night!
Most of the entries were from 1999- 10 years ago. I really can't believe how clueless and dramatic I was just 10 years ago; and it is utterly shocking how much I have changed in such a short number of years. Its embarrassing, really. I wonder if my 40 year old self will be saying the same thing when I read my blog entries from now. Will I always cringe a little bit when I look back at myideas and thoughts on things from my not so distant past? Will I ever just reach a point of "getting it"?
I guess I don't ever want to finally reach a point where I can look back even a few years ago and say to myself that nothing has changed, that my views or ideas on things have not changed one bit. I would think that that may just signify the end of growth and of having an open mind to the things that are here to learn. But I really don't want to look back in 10 years and think that I had it ALL wrong and feel ridiculous for my 30 year old self as I do now about my 20 year old self. I don't know how I even tolerated myself back then. I feel that I sort of get what it means to live on the Earth, as a woman, Christian, wife, mother, and all those other things that I am. I am pretty sure I thought I "got it" back then too :).
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Sigh
Can I just say it? I have had a bad day. Nothing in particular has gone wrong. Adler has been using the whiny voice that sounds like that puppy that keeps you up in the middle of the night. Hazel has had a few crying fits (which luckily don't happen that often, but when they do, are only consoled by nursing in a quiet, dim place, not in the middle of Carter's or at church, as it happened today....) My house did not clean itself. The UPS man didn't remember that doorbells shouldn't be used at 2PM. Adler thought it would be fun to not use the potty for his major business. My children forgot that 8 PM is sleep time, aka MOMMY NEEDS A BREAK time. E didn't remember to bring home chocolate. And well, I forgot that tomorrow will be better (until now). So, goodnight yall, and here's for a brighter Thursday!
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