With the much of the rest of the world, I have made yet another resolution this year to be more organized and to get rid of the gobs of unneeded stuff in my house.
So, go me, because last night, I organizing my books by genre and got rid of the books that I haven't formed deep attachments. That is, I started to do this, until I found some old journals, circa 1996-2001. So, I abandoned my cleaning for a little trip down memory lane. Chances are if you were a good friend, boyfriend or family member during this time period, I read about you last night!
Most of the entries were from 1999- 10 years ago. I really can't believe how clueless and dramatic I was just 10 years ago; and it is utterly shocking how much I have changed in such a short number of years. Its embarrassing, really. I wonder if my 40 year old self will be saying the same thing when I read my blog entries from now. Will I always cringe a little bit when I look back at myideas and thoughts on things from my not so distant past? Will I ever just reach a point of "getting it"?
I guess I don't ever want to finally reach a point where I can look back even a few years ago and say to myself that nothing has changed, that my views or ideas on things have not changed one bit. I would think that that may just signify the end of growth and of having an open mind to the things that are here to learn. But I really don't want to look back in 10 years and think that I had it ALL wrong and feel ridiculous for my 30 year old self as I do now about my 20 year old self. I don't know how I even tolerated myself back then. I feel that I sort of get what it means to live on the Earth, as a woman, Christian, wife, mother, and all those other things that I am. I am pretty sure I thought I "got it" back then too :).